Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Show Me Your Goods!

If you are a reader of InStyle, as I am, you know that in every issue they ask a celebrity to dump out their purse and list what they carry around with them every day. Invariably it includes some sort of ridiculously expensive skin cream, a mascara that they just happen to be the spokeswoman for (what?! serendipity at work!), and something they throw in there to try to make them seem "normal" like a granola bar. Celebrities get hungry too! They're just like Us!

So as I was transferring my purse content to a new bag, I decided to do the same.

The bag:

Canvas shoulder bag. Target. $12.99

The contents:

Wallet. Also from the Target couture line.

Sephora blotting papers. They have literally been in there at least three years. I think I have used one. But if the Boy Scouts taught me anything, it is to learn 18 kinds of knots and always be prepared.

Two MAC compacts. One is blot powder (hence the non-use of the papers listed above). The other is regular face powder. And no, I couldn't possible downsize and only carry one.

DKNY be delicious travel size perfume. Cause I'm a stinky woman on the go! Recent purchase - I give it roughly two months before it breaks and everyone around me passes out from scent overload.

Knock off Ray Bans. Take that, The Man! I found a way around your twisted consumerist culture!

My IRA and stock portfolio account summaries. Yea, I do think my purse is the absolute best place to store that information.

Handsfree headset. Not so much because I like to obey the law, but more that I like to confuse and piss off Starbucks employees.

Pen with company logo. Product placement! Except that I didn't face the logo outward before I took the picture. Endorsement fail.

Tinfoil. At some point this week, it held a piece of pizza I took to work for lunch. Like a good environmentalist, I decided I could reuse it for another piece, so I folded it and put it in my purse. But then I forgot to take it out, so now it has bottom of the purse debris all up in the nooks and crannies, so I will have to throw it away. The Indian just cried another single tear.

Kindle. Which makes me seem like an intellectual. But if you turned it on, you would find the most recently read books are by Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler. But the beauty of the Kindle is nobody can tell what you are reading!

Vanilla pudding snack. That has been in there for a few days; I had forgotten about it. I often find a stray string cheese or mandarin, but not usually pudding. And it's not even Jello brand. That's for the big spenders living in their McMansions. This, as you can see, is "Pudding" brand pudding.

That's about it. I'm pretty disappointed I didn't find a certs breath mint at the bottom. I feel like my mom always had certs floating around at the bottom of her purse. And eating that cert always seemed like a good idea. "Well, it has tasted like pennies the last ten times I ate a stray cert, but I feel like this is the one time it will taste solely like minty goodness". - me at age 12 (and 27)

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  1. hahaha! I cringe thinking of all the shit in my i-don't-need-a-diaper-bag excuse for a purse.

  2. If I dumped out my purse you would find a million hair bands!